|
Repeating
by Sandra Cohen Margulius
Oh Gertrude, sister, master of repetition, repeating
repeating completing sentences sentences with no meaning
no meaning. I have no meaning. What did you mean? Did you mean
to say nothing? I say nothing. He hears nothing. Nothing he hears
yet I talk I talk I talk and say nothing. He hears nothing but talk
and repeating repeating the same words the same words. He
hears nothing of my words my words are nothing. My words say
nothing my words are not heard not heard my words repeating repeating
and beating my head against walls against walls like talking to
my mother my mother who hears nothing nothing like he who
hears nothing when I talk and talk and repeat and he won't hear
what I say. What I say means nothing to him. He can't hear my
words my words echo in my head in my head where they start
to come out to be heard by he who hears nothing says nothing.
Nothing I say is important. Get to the point. Get to the point.
What is the point? I don't know the point or I wouldn't
keep talking keep talking, talking so you will hear me hear me
hear my words echoing in my own ears that hear only myself
talking, talking to him who hears nothing. My mouth opening and shutting
open and speaking, speaking the words that he doesn't hear
the words that repeat and repeat so he will listen
so he will hear me. Never hears me never listens to words
that I want him to hear, words that open me, words that spill me
spill me spill me into him so he will finally listen to hear who I am,
who I am. Who am I? Who am I that he can't hear me,
my words that spill unto and into and over him like
a waterfall of blue words that will drown him, blue words
that spill wet from my mouth so that he will listen
and validate and validate and validate that I am who I am.
Who am I if he can't validate who I am, and what is the point of my
talking and talking and spilling and spilling my words,
telling him who I am? Who am I if he won't listen won't listen
listen to who I am? |
|
